Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
