why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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