I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize