Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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