I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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