Four minutes until I can fart!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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