Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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