Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
