Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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