i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
