Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
