I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
