i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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