Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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