Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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