That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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