There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
