Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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