why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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