If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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