I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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