Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
false alarm, still single
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize