Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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