So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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