Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
