I bet he comes in French.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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