I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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