Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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