im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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