I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So squirting runs in the family.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
