you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
