i think my mom watched the whole time
well you can't waste a boner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
