he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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