Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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