Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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