He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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