I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
