chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
