Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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