just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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