I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
