You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
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I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
we should paint friendship bongs
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