I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize