The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
