i just wanna soil my oats bro
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
