Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
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These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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