so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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