After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
