I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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