no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He has the fingertips of a God
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