it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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