Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
