I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
