I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
