I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
smell my finger.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
