You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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