Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
