ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
