If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
