I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
