dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
