She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
