dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
