Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
