I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
