What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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