I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
