Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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