Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
