Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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