I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
