I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
