Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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